What story are you telling yourself?

Early in 2017, I decided to ‘properly’ invest in my business. I wanted to up my game and to do that I knew I needed to learn from people who were better than me. So I bought a 2-day ticket to the Expert Empires event in London. I wanted to see Gary Vee and Ryan Deiss and didn’t spend that much time researching the other speakers… big mistake.

Because one of those others speakers made a HUGE difference to my business and personal life.

As Ryan Pinnick explained how we create the same thing over and over again in our lives, I came to some massive (yet kinda obvious in hindsight) realisations about myself and how I viewed things.

Ryan then mentioned the phrase “breaking generational poverty”. This is where a person makes more money than anyone in their family has ever done and therefore creates a new bar.

I realised something huge:

Although we weren’t dirt poor, I suspected I had also broken generational poverty. But as well as being proud, I also felt a bit guilty and uncomfortable about it.

I come from a working class background and didn’t do that well at school. I’ve now done quite well for myself yet I still sometimes think “people like me don’t earn much money”. As one of my friends put it: I “still sometimes think like a poor person”.

It has taken me quite a while to realise that a lot of money to me isn’t necessarily a lot of money to someone else.

And this is why I used to undercharge.

Also, of course we should make more money than our parents. Even without allowing for inflation (duuur), things should always go upwards and forwards and not downwards and backwards.

So what’s your story?

Take a look at what stories you’re telling yourself. Things such as:

  • People like me don’t earn a lot of money.
  • I should be happy with my lot.
  • I should be grateful to even have a job.
  • Nothing ever works out for me.
  • Success is what happens to other people.
  • That will never work for me.
  • It’s not fair to charge for something that comes so easily to me.
  • It’s not polite to discuss money.
  • I’m taking advantage of people if I charge too much.
  • I’m not confident enough to do that.

Because those stories are bullsh*t.

Once you identify the stories you’re telling yourself and then decide if they’re holding you back or pushing you forward, you can write new ones.

I wanted to tell you this because it’s all too easy to believe your own stories even when they aren’t true – and because it’s a very sad thing when a person lets their past dictate their future.

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4 Comments

Peter

Hi Jo,

Thanks for that – I checked out some of Ryans talks on youtube, well worth a watch.

What was it about his talks that hand a big impact on you, self-belief?

Pete

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Joanne Munro

Hi Peter, he’s good isn’t he?! No, it was actually the bit about breaking generational poverty that I mention in the blog post. I hadn’t even considered that I had thought of myself as a ‘poor person’, but because I come from a working class family, I guess there was a subliminal understanding – a subconscious ceiling maybe – of what financial levels I would/should reach.

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Raquel

Hey Jo, this post has hit a big fat mark! I experienced the same, my family didn’t always have much and it was almost as soon as I started to do well I also started to sabotage myself. When I dug into it, it came down to ‘struggling creative’ syndrome and the ‘people like me don’t make big money’ story…among others. It’s amazing what can hold us back sometimes and how important it is to take a seat, reflect and clear out. Thanks for posting this. Raquel

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Joanne Munro

You are so welcome Raquel. Yes, that ‘poor struggling poet or writer’ myth; I’m sure they all would have loved to make more money! The point of being in business is to make a living otherwise it’s just a hobby. Inflation is rising, costs are high, pensions are going to be obsolete – it’s up to us to make as much money as we can so we can buy choices and options as we get older. So many bullsh*t stories holding us back, most we don’t even question.

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