A while back I was talking to a woman who was thinking about becoming a Virtual Assistant. She’d contacted me for advice because she was unsure of her options and wanted to know what being a VA was like. She said: “I’m quite confused as to what to do at the moment. Full time work is a safe option but the hours are too long for me now and I’m trying to run a part-time business too. I need help to figure out the best route and direction for me.”
I asked her how she would feel if the decision was made for her and she was only allowed to work full-time in a regular office job:
“I would feel disappointed and that I let myself down.”
That decided it – she would go ahead and set up as a Virtual Assistant.
She already ran a part-time beauty therapy business so VA’ing would fit around that perfectly. Her background was HR and recruitment so I recommended she tap her contacts to gauge interest and find out how they might use her to their benefit. We also talked through her many other concerns – money, marketing, client management, websites, business cards…
But she still seemed a bit hesitant.
It turned out she’d been accosted by naysayers.
What’s a naysayer?
Naysayers are people who tell you that you can’t do something. They’re not offering constructive criticism or helping you prepare for the challenge ahead, they’re people who give you every reason under the sun why things won’t work out.
Sometimes it’s not even what they say – it’s the expression on their face or the way they throw doubt on your plans by looking at you like you’ve lost the plot.
They actually think they’re being helpful, but they’re bad to be around if you want to follow your dreams. I think these people are subconsciously jealous and worried that if you end up succeeding, it’ll only highlight their failure to follow their own dreams.
Whether they’re aware of it or not they’re trying to drown your ambition. They’re happy to have a life half lived and they want to keep you where you are.
You’re out of their comfort zone and they don’t like it.
“You’re the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with”
I read this phrase in Jack Canfield’s literally life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (I set my business up within a week of reading it) and I can’t tell you how important it is.
If you hang around with negative people who never do anything creative or new then you’ll most certainly become one of them. Their negativity will rub off until you can’t see the point of trying. After all, it’ll never work so why even bother?
If you listen to the naysayers you will never achieve your dreams.
Naysayers are everywhere. They’re often ‘well-meaning’ members of your own family who protest they’re only showing concern by advising caution or people you consider good friends who ‘only want the best for you’. But there’s a HUGE difference between motivating and supporting someone and trying to stop them achieving their full potential.
You only get one life and what’s the worst than can happen?
It doesn’t work out and you decide to do something else that’s what.
Give yourself the best chance to succeed
I’m not saying you’ll succeed at everything you try to do, but what you can do is be prepared for what might come. Being a freelancer is hard work and you’ll probably mess up a little on the way because you learn as you go – THAT’S HOW LIFE WORKS and that’s how it should be or you never learn anything.
But if you swot up, learn from people who have done what you want to do and prepare for the journey ahead, then there’s no reason why you won’t succeed. As long as you can pay your rent and bills then you might as well give it a shot.
Nobody wants to be on their death bed full of regret about what could have been so here are a few things you’ll hear from naysayers and how to respond.
Life is short and it’s for adventure and living – not for sitting in the slow lane until the end.
So surround yourself with positive, motivated, supportive people and don’t tell the naysayers your plans. Just do your own thing, follow your own dreams, make your own life, forge your own way and show them what success really looks like.